Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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