I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
lol hangovers are for mortals.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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