dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
