what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
