Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
