this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
