help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
