the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He passed out mid-signature
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
