hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
PANTIES FOUND
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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