Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
