Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Randomize
