yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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