I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
