idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I hate all girls vehemently.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
