Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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