I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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