sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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