did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
