32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
