Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
meet me or not, i'm out of control
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
