I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
