I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
he's gonorrhea incarnate
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
