the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
