Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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