margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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