forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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