He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
