You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
