I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Don't tell me you're on acid again
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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