My first STD was from a foam party
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
