I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
