My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
