If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
