Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
