Well apparently he's into motor boating.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
