the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
