So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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