we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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