she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
