she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
