i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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