While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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