so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
