apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
