porn star boner night. come get it.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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