Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
