You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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