I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
