sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He felt like a one man threesome
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
