I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
